Tuesday, August 28, 2007

stupid random post

I'm not going to make my blog private. 'cause i realised that i have nth to hide. yarh. i invited some readers larh. but out of all these are people who backstabs me too. Some i never expected, turned out to be the more vicious 2 sided snake. One side you can tell me not to trust her, as she is not as simple as she look. on the other side you are sucking up to her.

Okay. If people are going to make assumptions on who am i blogging about, go ahead. This one is one i don't think you all would expect. Well, alot of people can decipher loads of crap from my blog posts by reading on daily basis and announcing out your latest discovery after reading for the 100th time i guess.

Loser.

I've realised that i've truely learnt alot this period. Not just academically, more than just science, maths, history anything. I've learnt the truth of human nature, how to not trust a person easily and what would a slacken security bring about as well as the consequences brought about when you trust one too easily.

Even the people close to me, closest to me. I do not dare to reveal everything. I don't want history to happen. I just reveal one small damn bit to someone i thought i can trust.

She tells her
She tells her
She modifies it
Wow. I'm a bitch.

yarh. i know i am one.

Of course, I've also learnt about how low someone can stoop to for his/her own entertainment. I don't have anything else to lose, but what have you to gain? Contentment? I don't understand.
Is it my acting that is so wonderful?
Or is it you that is too stupid, IQ way below the level i imagined.

I'm no longer afraid of offending you. I was never afraid. If i was, it is a great insult to myself. I just don't want to offend the people near you, i don't want to start war.

Hey. Now i don't give it a damn. 'cause i thought it through that the people that are able to get along with you are either still ignorant, or they are as low as you.

Come on, assumptions help at this stage. Gossip louder.
NO. JUST COME AND BITCH ME INTO MY FUCKING FACE.

I don't know why am i so bothered over such a stupid issue.'Cause i'm just stupid and have nothing better to do obviously.

I asked yingying what's wrong with me. She told me that nothing was wrong with me. And that i don't have to change myself to suit the taste of others.. Thank you. But i'm not sure. The 'others' seem to be increasing in number. Yarh. They're just jealous of me. Come on, i have nothing for them to be jealous about.

Jade told me that it is a stage that everyone goes through. Where they are not able to trust anyone anymore.
Is this a matter of being about to trust? This is a matter of trusting people and they backstab me one by one without hesitation.

WITHOUT ANY HESITATION. LIKE I AM SOME TOOL AND TOY FOR THEM TO PLAY.

Yarh. I am. I even have a bloody fucking rate.

Some one just told me that i am remembered as a cute girl. wow. cute. wrong. people think that i am acting cute. I have to change. I am changing, i am changed. I am no longer that cute girl. Well, to you all. I never was, i had been acting cute all my life and now it's time for me to face that fact that i'm bitchy, not cute.

Sorry, but you're right. What happen to that cute girl? I'm no longer cute. I am a bitch now. Who is hated and backstabbed like no ones business and now here blogging in a bitch manner when she is not happy. And trying to AA all the time when she's emo by doing all this.

Yarh. GET THE FUCKING POINT?

Yingying is so right. No matter how i try to perfection myself. No matter how another person is contributing, so perfect, she is also rated as the worst stage still. Though the raters do nothing but to see and comment on other people's action.

In front, you try to suck up.
Behind: WOW I HATE HER.
i see that. i saw that. you just did that right in front of my face. and i so believe that she can see that too. only that you all probably don't know 'cause anyone who is not blind can see it through your fucking face.

I don't like you going around placing price tags all over me. I'm not an iten. I'm a person with feelings. Don't label me with whatever you feel like.
When i say that i don't care and don't stoop down, don't give a damn about others of lower social level thn me, i am kiddin myself. In fact, the person who thought of this is just trying to make himself feel better, cause whn a fact in right into your face, you can't just ignore it.

These few days, i had been having all those horrible dreams, that i'm left alone. in the morning, i don't want to wake up. Not because i don't want to go to school. most of the time. i'm already awake, after a night's dream, breaking out in cold sweat, but the main reason is cause i'm afraind that all my dream will be true. At night, i don't want to sleep, cause i don't want to experience it all over again.

In my dream, i'm trapped in some room, with some people going to harm another. i tell them, no one gives me a damn. I am thn locked up. when i call for my mum, my dad, my friends, no one who passes by even look into the window. All those who did just stuck their tongue out. The room is dark, dim, creepy. I never want to be there again. The worst thing is the sense of loneliness that i felt inside the room, like i could rely on no one.

yes, i am AAing with my blog post. you can just fuck off and don't read. If you are reading this and think that i am AA thn it's cause you just love me too much or you just have nothing better to do and want to find another topic to gossip about me.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Crapppp

I officially made my blog public again.
'cause i'm seriously pissed off with logging in and out myself >.<
okay. if anyone wants to read this and badmouth me or backstab me or whatever. Go ahead :D
Not like closing my blog down would get me into less trouble on daily basis with my parents or will stop people gossiping about me (:

Whoo. Nice pic that i took in the science lab.
An experiment with my lab partners, Lydia and Charmaine!
The colours are nice larh. So clearrr. Is some thingo on Natural Indicators. The red one is with water, the yellow one is with alkali and the pink one is with acid
The pink colour looks the best amongst all. Well. All nice larh :D

Shit. Chemistry is officially over for the year. I think chem is sooo much better than physics. Probably the suckiest subject on earth >.<
Chem practicals were sooo much funner too compared to this stupid slinky thingo that we did today. Puma jacket guy calls in slinky. Today in the lab i found out that it really was called slinky. I never knew that it was called a slinky.

Never update for. Erm. 8 days only larh >.<
Busy okay. Well, stupid excuse. Tests just over.
BUT EOYS ARE COMING!
ok. today i reached home at three, stared at my table and wanted to study.
Then i took the books, in out in out in out.
Up to now, 9pm, nothing is done.
My pencil case still in my bag.
FRIDAY IS A DAY TO RELAX after your tiring week okay. So i can never get my mind down to study, even a single bit on fridays.

Tuesday, Jap common test. URGH. i haven't started yet larh.

Recently me and my mum have been gossiping alot. When i complain about some of my classmates, my mum would add in, esp if she saw them before. She gets all excited gossiping eh.

Okay. this convo we had just now:
Mum: You sat with Jade today arh?
Me: Nah. Kimberlyn
Mum: Hurh. I thought you hate her?
Me: No.
Mum: Ohh is another one right?
Me: Yarh. They just came to our hse tgt.
Mum: That one look damn funny
Me: Can't help it, she is born like that. I want to laugh everytime i look at her face. She have her bloody personality scribbled all over. And she talks funny. Like some kid who haven't go thru puberty mentally.
Mum: She also going x arh?
Me: Yarh
Mum: Why?
Me: 'cause she don't believe y can own her marh
Mum: She very smart one meh?
Me: Precisely not smart enough that's why need to go x what.
Mum: So she go to own y.
Me: Yeah
Mum:*laugh*
Me: You getting more excited thn me eh >.<

if you don't know that i'm implying YOU. Then sorry, you are pure stupid. Come on, bitch me in my face. I just love interesting people. Then i can share my nice experience with my mum.

Another thingo. I thinking about my subject combi
So i discussed with my parents.
Me: pa, is geog easy?
Dad: Yarh
Me: Don't lie
Dad: Really very easy
Me: I saw your O level cert. Get E only
Dad: 'cause i did not study
Me: So it's difficult
Dad: No it's easy
Me: History eh?
Dad; Also easy
Me: Hurh. Why you never take
Dad: 'cause i never study then flunk
Me: MIGHT AS WELL SAY EVERYTHING ALSO VERY EASY IF YOU STUDY
Dad: That's the point what

-.-

Me: ma, what science you take
Mum: Bio
Me: Hurh. Fun anot
Mum: We don't need to operate dead bodies
Me: I also don't want to
Mum: Got experience operation then good what, you get to try
Me: I would faint before i do that
Mum: Nevermind, you can get used to it slowly

WTH. GET USED TO IT. SADIST

Me: Pa, what science you take
Dad: Physics and Chem
Me: Fun anot
Dad: Very easy
Me: STUDY THEN VERY EASY RIGHT
Dad; Yarh of course. But i never study also get B3.
Me: MA! I DECIDE LIAW! I WANT TO TAKE PHYSICS

Me: Ma you take geog or history
Mum: Geog
Me: Easy anot
Mum: everything is easy if you study
Me: -.- So how much you get
Mum: Worse then your father
Me: Hurh. he got E leh.
Mum: So i got F.

WOW. HEY. SHOULD I STILL TAKE GEOG?

Thursday, August 9, 2007

National Day

Yay poop poop. It's national day and i'm grounded 'cause i reached home like 11p.m last night. They are watching ndp now. Which totally doesn't interest me. Not a slightest bit.

Well, I shall update my blog. I am totally not supposed to use my comp. I am like doing MOV thingo. Essay. I just finished. Well, since my mum is not seeing, and is outing enjoying her ndp show, i should just blog too =D

Okay. Whatever. I am not a least bit happy okay. Sian. I read 300 pages of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince that Jade lent me this after noon. =D

Some photos
Kite flying outside MOELC
Jade playing with crocyy
Voldy News reporter
Me and Yingying with Keely
Me and Yingying
Me, Carrie and Nenque

Hey! For once i'm like taller okay. Both of them are like gay. Nenque is 170cm and carrie is 172cm. I'm like a bloody.... okay. forget it.

GO CD(: For the NYPS match tmr xD

Yarh. I don't think i can go for the match tmr though.
Yesterday went to sch in my red op shirt that i just bought for the celebration and lent yingying a shirt too. I wore when i was like p5. Okay. Shall not niao her liaw.
Long stupid retarded flag raising ceremony.
LONG fire drill. Damn it.
The concert was not bad. Nurul and Keely came. And both of them got damn good figure. Damn it. I need a body transplant eh. Eh, i want Nurul's one, she taller. But her legs too skinny. Okay. I want Keely's one.
I look so damn fat next to her. =(
Thn after school did science, then went with carrie to buona vista mrt and wait for nenque. Went to some plaza which i forgotten the name for lunch and neos.
Went to queensway and we each bought a FBT each. Carrie bought blue and white curve. Me and nenque bought black and white dri-fit curved. Both of them got medium and i got small. Then we went to try. Carrie told me that it was too big. But small is like the smallest size liaw. Okay larh. I small sized can. compared to them. i admit. >.<
After that went to marina square. Wanted to play bowling one. Then have to wait for like 1 hour. So went to kbox instead. Okay. Both of them heard my ducky voice larh >.<>
I want to watch JAY CHOU MOVIE. But i'm grounded. And ytd sang jay chou song, we were trying to act man and ended up laughing like no one's business. -.-
Well, matched against SNTT. i played with weiqi and lost like 0-3. carrie played against joven. lost 1-3. Doubles carrie and nenque lost 0-3 to lydia and weiqi.
Took a train back with carrie. Got home about 11pm. I haven't talked to my dad since last night. He was angry. Well, both my parents did not scream at me. My mum nagged a little. But i know that my dad had not been mad at me since i was like p2, when i lost my way and made him worry, and i totally got a big shock. Okay. Its not nice for my dad to be angry, he is very scary when he is.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Catfish

I named this post catfish 'cause i'm random and stupid and gary is a snail and not a catfish.

okay. whatever

Lawl. Had not been blogging for 2 millions years i know :D And i shall fufill my promise to yingying and jade and update (:
Well. Busy week okay. Even after IDMI. Monday had training,presentation for LA and i a gary >.< sucked ="((">.< or MUCH quieter thn usual at least, Died. for maths and science test today.

Tests are gone. Heave a deeeeppp sigh of relief. Still got history and Science project to chiong larh.

Okay. Sian. I dno what to blog liaw. Sorry for it being so erm, boring. I really had a boring unlucky week and nothing much or interesting can happen with sucky voice 'cause all i care about is being able to talk.

I am currently mad over da xiao jie by jin sha.
It's a really nice and cute song. But we cannot use for history larh :(